Dandelion child: How my military childhood shaped me

Most people know exactly what you’re talking about when you say “military member” or “Veteran,” but not many people pay a second thought to the loved ones of those currently serving or who have served their country. April being the Month of the Military Child can hopefully bring light to us military brats and our Families. This month will always hold a special place in my heart.

Being born into a military Family changed the trajectory of my life before I even knew it, but I am so grateful for it. I feel honoured to have spent my entire life surrounded by the military and Veteran community. I even chose my line of work to support military members, Veterans and their Families!

Living in Canada and the USA throughout my childhood following around my mother during her incredible Canadian Armed Forces (CAF) career has given me so many opportunities that I never could have imagined. It was definitely difficult growing up an army brat, but I honestly would not change any of it. Looking back on it all now, I remember how difficult it all was at the time yet I can see the beauty in it. From grades 4 to 7 I was in four different schools in two different countries which sounds unbelievable, but now I look at it in amazement. I did that! To me that shows just a fraction of my learned resilience.

Military children often develop life skills at accelerated speeds compared to other children. For as long as I can remember I’ve been told that I’m mature for my age. I still don’t know whether to take that as a compliment or not. From a young age I have always been a problem-solver and looking back now I can see just how that has shaped me into the person that I am today.

Always being the new kid was never fun, and now in my adult life one of the main things I crave is stability. I have learned just how much I appreciate my “me time.” It’s funny for me to say that now because as a kid I used to hate “me time,” but now it’s a necessary way for me to take care of myself and practise self-care and self-compassion.

Another lesson from being the new kid — I learned to be observant. I’m an introvert mostly, but when I’m with people I feel comfortable with I can let my extroverted side shine. I think being a military child contributed to my anxiety. Looking back, I think I have always had it, but because we moved around so much and I was always deemed the “good kid,” I was able to hide it. Ultimately, I was following the “soldier on” mindset without even knowing it as a kid because that is what I saw all around me. Now that I have the ability to reflect on my childhood I can see just how damaging that was. Being a military child influenced my relationships without me even realizing it at the time.

Growing up I would always get asked if I would follow in my mother’s footsteps and join the CAF too, but my answer was always no. There was something inside of me that knew from a very young age that the military lifestyle wasn’t for me career-wise, but that wouldn’t dim the beaming light of support I will always give the troops and Veterans.

If I could give a reminder to my fellow military children, no matter what age you are now: We are born into challenges that some people will just never be able to fully understand for themselves. That sets us apart not in a bad way but in a beautiful way. It gives us a uniqueness that we can carry with us.

Regardless of where you are in life now, we will always be connected to other military children. It’s a shared camaraderie that lasts. We were never given a choice to have this lifestyle, but we do a pretty darn good job at thriving with our own lived and shared experiences together. Happy Month of the Military Child! We rock!

— Laura Woods

Laura is a self-proclaimed military brat, staff member at the Mainland BC Military Family Resource Centre and daughter of Warrant Officer Brenda Morris. Brenda has served in the CAF for over 35 years. She has been on three overseas tours during her career in Egypt, Kosovo and Afghanistan.