PTSD can impact every member of your family or close community, including children and youth. Many of the coping strategies for Families and friends can help children and youth, but it is important to be aware of reactions and strategies that are specific to them. Here you’ll find information and resources for children with a family member experiencing PTSD, and coping tips for children dealing with secondary traumatic stress.

Reactions

Children and youth are sensitive to their surroundings, and especially to their family’s dynamics. Each child will react differently when a parent is diagnosed with PTSD. Some of the most common reactions your child may have are:

• Increased feelings of anxiety and worry
• Feeling emotionally detached from their loved ones
• Feeling responsible for their family member’s anger
• Becoming hypervigilant to avoid triggering their family member’s PTSD symptoms
• Taking on the role of a parent or caregiver
• Acting much younger than their age
• Isolating themselves from their friends and family
• Overachieving in order to please loved ones
• Behaving poorly at school or in social settings
• Showing psychosomatic symptoms such as stomach aches, headaches, and fatigue

Talking about PTSD

The best thing you can do is talk to your child – let them know that everything is going to be okay. Make sure they know that:

• It is not their fault
• It is not their problem to fix
• Their job is to be a child
• They are tremendously loved
• The adults in their lives are working towards solutions

Teach them about your family member’s diagnosis by explaining some of the symptoms of PTSD. Use examples that they may have already observed: “Because of Mom’s injury, she is very uncomfortable in crowded places, and she may seem impatient and in a hurry to leave.”

Some helpful resources for these conversations are:

• Why is Daddy like he is? A booklet to help explain PTSD to children.
• Can I catch it like a cold? A book to help parents and caregivers explain depression to children.

Be careful about which details you share about the event that caused the trauma. It is more important to talk about what is happening in the present.

Secondary traumatic stress

Causes

In some situations, your child might develop secondary traumatic stress. It is important to note that all family members and friends can experience this form of traumatic stress. Each child is unique, but these are examples of situations that could lead to the development of secondary stress:

• Their imagination leads them to create their own story or narrative about how their family member came to experience PTSD.
• They hear details about traumatic event(s) from their family member.
• They copy their family member’s behaviours in an effort to connect with them.
• They re-enact their family member’s trauma when playing.

Symptoms

In addition to a child or youth’s reactions towards a family member experiencing PTSD (listed above), be on the lookout for behavioural cues that indicate your child may need additional support, such as:

• Lack of participation in social or school activities
• Difficulties in paying attention
• Responding to situations with emotions that are disproportionate to the circumstances
• Expressing feelings of sadness or hopelessness
• Preoccupation with violence, death, or other “dark” ideas
• Making major changes to who they hang out with or their activities
• Experiencing negative changes to sleeping and eating habits
• Starting or increasing their use of drugs, alcohol or other substances

Getting support

Seeking professional help is not to be feared. If you notice any of the behavioural cues listed above, your child may need additional support, reach out to a professional. Below are a few services that are available immediately.

If your child shares thoughts of suicide or exhibits signs of suicide or self-harm, reach out to immediate supports such as 9-1-1, your family doctor or another service provider.

If your child is showing signs of emotional distress, contact:

• Kids Help Phone by calling 1-800-668-6868 or texting 686868
• CAFKIDS Crisis Texting Service by texting CAFKIDS to 686868
• Veterans Affairs Canada Assistance Service by calling 1-800-268-7708

If you want to learn more about how to support the well-being of the child or youth in your life, visit: The Kids Help Phone website.

Coping strategies

Incorporating the following strategies into you and your child’s day-to-day may help alleviate some of the challenges they have while dealing with a family member who is experiencing PTSD.