Navigating the holidays

Having worked with Veterans and their Families for more than 25 years, I have no doubt that the holiday season can be an extra challenging time of year for them. Pressures to shop, to socialize, to drink and to appear “happy” can be exhausting for Veterans living with mental health challenges. As festivities start to wind down, it can also become an extremely lonely time of year.

Over the years, I have learned that small shifts can make a big difference. Managing expectations for yourself and others can go a long way. Avoid getting caught up in “need to” and “must do” thoughts. Many Veterans have shared that planning short and strategic visits and having a rehearsed exit strategy can be extremely helpful.

Planning ahead can be an excellent way to approach the holidays, as it can help provide a sense of being in control. Think about how you want to spend your time by carefully mapping out your plans on a day-by-day basis. Remember that even if they are “listed,” it doesn’t mean you are committed to them. Give yourself permission to cancel if you need to.  As part of your planning process, have the phone numbers of your support network close by— whether it’s your counsellor, or spiritual or peer support.

There is an old adage about choosing your company wisely. I think this is especially important during the holiday season, which can be particularly challenging to navigate. Sometimes even the most well-meaning people can create a sense of overwhelm. Think about whom is most important for you to spend time with. Perhaps the ideal scenario is simply spending time with those closest to you and with those who understand and support you through the difficult moments. Carve out time for yourself to reset if need be, whether that involves exercise, spending time outdoors or reading a good book in a quiet, comfortable space. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to someone else if you knew they were struggling.

It’s often said that “if it is predictable, it is preventable.” As the holidays approach, let us all be mindful of the ways we can help and support each other. Remember that the holidays can look different for everyone, especially in the Veteran and Family community.

Dr. J Don Richardson, MD, FRCPC
Medical Advisor – Atlas Institute for Veterans and their Families